I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
