Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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