Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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