She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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