Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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