Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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