Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
