Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
