All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
