Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
There r osticjed everywhere
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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