Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
