She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
