Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
