you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
