im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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