I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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