are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
