Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
