Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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