I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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