Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize