PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
