Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
