Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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