would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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