ya dads aren't the best wingmen
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
FUCK WHALES
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
