i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
