Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
