Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
