We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
