I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize