I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
