That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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