it wasn't lemon gatorade
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
