On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish you could order shots online.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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