Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize