You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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