Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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