waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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