Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize