She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
