just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
