i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
