That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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