the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
