i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize