I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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