Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize