My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
