come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
