Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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