Im at strip club and am horny
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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