New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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