Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize