please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
