I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
