Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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