you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
