I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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