But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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