we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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