i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
