i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
