For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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