listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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