Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
